A Temporary Gift

She was beautiful. She arrived just after Asar. Ya Allah.....just can't believe it, another beautiful girl. She is one year's old. Her eyes was big and round with long and curly eyelashes. She was so trusting. Although she has never met me before, but she came easily to me.
I just cannot comprehend, how some people can just leave their babies to other people. They are so innocent. Not knowing anything and ever so trusting. All it took for a man and a woman just a few minutes of lust to create such a beautiful child. Then when the baby comes into the world, just leave them behind or in some cases throw them over the balcony???!! without any feelings of guilt. And i just cannot understand how the grandparents (of the baby), just because of shame to society, could make their daughter leave the baby at the hospitals or orphanages. They should be ashamed to ALLAH. Take responsibility. Check yourselves first as to why your daughter resort to such behaviour. It is you, as parents that have made the mistakes, mistake with ALLAH.
Anyway, back to my girl, she was given the name Nur Solehah Maisarah. Such a beautiful name. I have always dreamed of having a baby girl with the name of Maisarah.
But at last, she is only on a short loan by ALLAH. Our family had the pleasure of taking care of her for only 23 days, while her guardian went to do umrah and prepare for the wedding of their son in Indonesia. But those 23 days was full of emotions and ups and downs. It was more difficult to take care of a grown baby, as she already had her emotions and had learned things while at the welfare home. She really tested my patience. To my shame, i actually lost my patience with her. Ooh, that was a big trial of my iman.
 Everybody that meets her, just loves her. She is so loving. She will give her cheeky smile (especially to guys.......hmmm at 1 year old???) and ask to be carried. She even sleeps on Abi's chest.  Even Atok and Nani loves her. Unbelievably my sister too, was upset when she heard she is going back to her guardian.
No words can describe my feelings when her guardian came to pick her up. I thought I would be happy to see her go,no more waking up in the middle of the night to make her milk, no more wailing screams....... but in actuality, i miss her very much. Her cries and laughter and how she followed me even to the toilet door.
Alhamdulillah, thank you to the guardians for having trust in my family to take care of her. She will always have a special place in my heart. Ya ALLAH, please make her a good muslimah. Make her grow with iman and true to her name a solehah muslimah. Give her love where ever she goes and make her a patience person. And have a place for her in Jannah.

*Footnote:  To all, please make doa for her (Nur Soleha) as I did not write earlier, she also has a hole in the heart - known as ASD.  In Shaa Allah, she will be going for an operation later this year.  Hopefully, we will be able to raise the funds she needs and soon too. I will update all when the time is nearer. Jazakallah to all,  for taking time to read my blog and for giving a doa (a prayer for my girl), Only ALLAH can reward all of you. Aamiin.

My First Experience

Today for the first time in my life we served our first catering customer. Never in my life i dreamed to be doing catering business. Actually not only catering business but doing business itself. I remembered when i was much younger (not that i am that old now....ha...ha...ha) i hated business. I said to myself " I will never do business.....after seeing my father suffer lossing hundreds of thousands ringgit and almost becoming a bankruptcy. But now.......
 To my surprised, I actually enjoyed it. Especially when the guests complimented on the food. It felt good. Although it was hard work and a couple of sleepless nights.  I know, actually it was not me. Everything came from the Almighty...ALLAH. If ALLAH did not  "redha" it to happenned, it will not happened. Alhamdulillah, no other words could describe it. Syukur Alhamdulillah, ya Allah.
I hope after today, this first experience will not be my last. And there will many more memorable experiences  and catering opportunities to come in the future. Please make doa for me, that for once, i will get to make this business as a lasting career and will be successful.

New beginnings

I have not written anything in my blog for a couple of months now. So many things happened. With no maid and a wee girl in tow, makes it very difficult for me to have time even for myself. Alhamdulillah, today i get to write and do what i want. Hari Raya just passed, and my little girl is asleep. Today was her first day at the babysitter. The babysitter told me after i left, she cried a little then stood by the door and kept calling out for "umi, umi". Aargh! sacrifices we have to make...... and  all my boys are back in maahad and finally, my youngest son, has also left home for full time tahfiz.
It was a very difficult decision for me, as we found out, his maahad, has this strict rule about parents visiting  especially for the first 41 days. NO VISITATION or COMMUNICATION for 41 DAYS. He is my baby. With him leaving the nest, this means its the beginning of his quest for "Ilmu ALLAH". Now, each time he comes home, he is just like a visitor only.
I know, i have to let him go for the sake of our future. Not the future here, but in the next world. The eternal life.
I can only duaa that he will cope and like his new lifestyle. May Allah make it easy for him to be a hafiz.

Anak aset ke syurga

Alhamdulillah.....another day given to me by ALLAH to still breath and beribadah serta untuk mensyukuri nikmat-nikmat yang di kurniakan. We always take our life for granted. We assumed we will still be here tomorrow. How we always forget that ALLAH can take us anytime, anywhere without any notice. We always forget that everything and anything comes from the Almighty.  Ya ALLAH, ampunilah kami yang hina ini, yang sentiasa lupa.

Today as i was browsing my FB, saw a good you tube by Ustaz Azhar. Hah! ini lah jawapan yang di cari-cari. So i would like to share this:

Happy watching....

Antara Dunia dan Akhirat

Can't sleep. It's 5.08 am now. Been awake since 3.50am. Nak solat sunat tak boleh pulak. well......
I can't understand some people. Why should it bother them if i choose not to send my son to a normal school. Ni anak saya, suka hati saya lah.....( wah so arrogant ...huh) bukan apa, saya memilih untuk tidak menghantar anak ke sekolah biasa kerana saya rasa adalah lebih baik anak di isikan dadanya dulu dengan Al Quran. (betul tak?) Bukan kah pendidikan agama itu lebih baik? Itu kan untuk dunia dan akhirat. Insyallah kalau dia dah dapat 30 juzuk tu, sudah pastinya ilmu duniawi lain akan menjadi mudah bagi dia...."Ya Allah, kamu permudahkanlah bagi anak-anak ku ini untuk mendapat ilmu mu. Tidaklah mudah tapi hanya dengan izin mu".....

Lagi pun dia suka this system. Siang hari pegi masjid buat hafazan. Malam pegi kumon. Hari sabtu pergi kelas bahasa arab. Tak apalah. Semua ni pun adalah dari ALlah. Allah yang telah bukakan hati ini dan suami untuk menghantar anak-anak ke arah jalan ini. Alhamdulillah. "Ya Allah.... janganlah kau tarik nikmat ini, istiqamahlah hati-hati ini untuk sentiasa menjadi tetamu di taman-taman syurga mu. Ya Allah... permudahkanlah urusan kami sekeluarga untuk terus berada di jalan ini. Janganlah di sibukkan kami dengan hal-hal dunia hingga tidak lagi dapat mendapat nikmat ke majlis-majlis mu."..."Ya Allah, janganlah kau tutupi hati suami ku ini dengan murabbi. Buka lah pintu hatinya untuk terus istiqamah dengan murabbi...Ku mohon pada mu....jadikan lah dia murid yang sodiq....." Amin.

New Year 2012

Welcome 2012. Was at Mom's. Did not plan to stay the night there, but hubby was lazy to drive home. He went into the guest room and slept. And that was before 12 midnite. Midnite came and my no 4, came in all excited and screaming " bunga api, bunga api!" (fireworks, fireworks!). Don't understand why people are burning money just to see some glitters in the sky. (Hah! wait when D DAY comes, you'll see all the fireworks you want , for FREE!)

Today is already the 6th. How time flies. My 3 boys are now in boarding school. Really miss them, especially my two teddy bears. This is the first time we are separated. But Alhamdulillah, i think they are coping well. (Though they cried and called me the 2nd day and ask me to go and see them the next day,........) Went to see them and they started to point at each other when we ask who cried? And both of them denied ever crying.

Can't wait for Sunday to see them again. Hmmm......kesian pulak rasanya. At 12 and they already have to learn to wash their own clothes. And i haven't even taught them how to do it. Only gave simple instructions on how to do it and am not too sure they can do it. Never mind, i think i will collect all their dirty clothes and wash them at home and sent new sets of clean clothes.....ha...ha...ha .....see how i spoil my boys.

Now there is only no 4 and no 5 at home. Luckily there is no 5. She is soooo adorable. It's so different having a girl in the house (after having 4 boys!).

Whatever it is I thank ALLAH for all the Blessings he has given me and the family.

My 2nd attempt

 This is my 2nd attempt in trying to create my blog. I hope (biiznillah  - dgn izin Allah) this time it will go through.


Have been reading so many blogs.....so tringinlak  nak buat sendiri. 
Apa actually nak tulis in my blog, ........................tapi tak apa, this one is a trial. If this go through, bole keep writing. I have never been good in expressing myself.  So maybe by writing it down (ooops i mean typing it) i will be able to express what i feel.


Today is a new day. I thank Allah for giving me another day. We never know when we are going for our long journey, therefore we have to always be prepared. Recently my husband's friend died. It was a schock to him and his other friends as this guy is a very healthy guy. But it just goes to show, you don't have to be sickly to go. He unfortunately had got infected with a virus while on his overseas trip. Even the Doctors don't know the name of the virus. It just gets to you - offguard. Soooo we have to always thank Allah, for each day we have, and make the most of your day as you don't know when you are going. Make sure your prayers is the best as if it is your last. To whoever is reading this.....have a good day, filled it with good deeds and don't forget to thank Allah and don't miss your 5 daily prayers.


" Ya Allah, kau rahmatilah orang yang membaca ini, kau kurniakan dia hidayah, kau murahkan rezekinya dan kau peliharalah dia semoga sentiasa berada di jalan yang lurus. Ameen."