When you are sick.........................

Subhanallah.......we never value our selves until ALLAH test you with sickness.  I was down for 3 days with a very bad sore throat, an aching body and a throbbing headache that would not go away, even after taking the medicine. The pain of the throbbing headache ..............that no words could describe.
We always think that it is us, me and I, that decides or make us what we are. But when you are sick, only then you realise that there is a greater hand that actually decides who, what or how you are going to feel.
My hubby always tells me, that a person will only remember ALLAH especially so when they are sick.
Yeap, when you are hurt, in pain, your mouth can't seem to stop uttering ALLAH, ALLAH, ALLAH. I actually thought that may be....it was time...Astagfirullahalazim.....

I remembered when i was diagnosed as having hole in the heart - ASD (arterial septicall defect), i was so scared. Thoughts of dying kept haunting me. I was not ready to die yet, i'm still young!! Only old people die (that was what i thiought back then in 1984. Then as the years progress, i went to college, i was hungry to learn about Islam. I remember reading the "Muslimah", it was then sold by 'kakak Arqam - those wearing purdah then' in ITM. ( Back then it was ITM not UITM). That was a really good magazine then on being a good muslimah, a good wife and daughter. I actually learned alot then. Back then there was not many 'pengajian' like now. I was never been invited to the kakak-kakak's usrah ( ha...ha....ha.....maybe because i was very secular then ie free hair and all).

Then when i got married.......and after i was confirmed i was carrying my son, i made tahajjud every night, making duaa that Allah SWT will extend my life, at least to see till my son grow up and can be independent. Alhamdulillah......Allah SWT qabul my duaa. Now, asking Allah SWT again, subhanallah........we as human are soo weak, and forever asking from the Almighty......Ya ALLAH.........

Then you realize the greatness of Almighty ALLAH. When in pain....you will remember that it is ALLAH that gives you the pain, and only ALLAH can cure you." Wa iza maridtu, fahuwa yashfin.....surah A Syu'ara':80."

Now, today syukur Alhamdulillah, am back to being me again. Busy with the normal daily routine as wonder woman........Alhamdulillah, ALLAH has given me back my health. "Syukurilah nikmat sehat sebelum sakit.". How very true of that saying.

The song if have inserted by Wali Band from Indonesia, fully says it all. (Actually i wanted to put in TOBAT by Wali Band, but it says the video space is too small - it's my princess favourite). When i was sick, she kept playing that i.e she searched by herself in You Tube via my iphone. Macam ada message aje...... She is such an angel, she just sits next to me.....well , that's another story for me to write, later. Enjoy the nasyid.

A Temporary Gift

She was beautiful. She arrived just after Asar. Ya Allah.....just can't believe it, another beautiful girl. She is one year's old. Her eyes was big and round with long and curly eyelashes. She was so trusting. Although she has never met me before, but she came easily to me.
I just cannot comprehend, how some people can just leave their babies to other people. They are so innocent. Not knowing anything and ever so trusting. All it took for a man and a woman just a few minutes of lust to create such a beautiful child. Then when the baby comes into the world, just leave them behind or in some cases throw them over the balcony???!! without any feelings of guilt. And i just cannot understand how the grandparents (of the baby), just because of shame to society, could make their daughter leave the baby at the hospitals or orphanages. They should be ashamed to ALLAH. Take responsibility. Check yourselves first as to why your daughter resort to such behaviour. It is you, as parents that have made the mistakes, mistake with ALLAH.
Anyway, back to my girl, she was given the name Nur Solehah Maisarah. Such a beautiful name. I have always dreamed of having a baby girl with the name of Maisarah.
But at last, she is only on a short loan by ALLAH. Our family had the pleasure of taking care of her for only 23 days, while her guardian went to do umrah and prepare for the wedding of their son in Indonesia. But those 23 days was full of emotions and ups and downs. It was more difficult to take care of a grown baby, as she already had her emotions and had learned things while at the welfare home. She really tested my patience. To my shame, i actually lost my patience with her. Ooh, that was a big trial of my iman.
 Everybody that meets her, just loves her. She is so loving. She will give her cheeky smile (especially to guys.......hmmm at 1 year old???) and ask to be carried. She even sleeps on Abi's chest.  Even Atok and Nani loves her. Unbelievably my sister too, was upset when she heard she is going back to her guardian.
No words can describe my feelings when her guardian came to pick her up. I thought I would be happy to see her go,no more waking up in the middle of the night to make her milk, no more wailing screams....... but in actuality, i miss her very much. Her cries and laughter and how she followed me even to the toilet door.
Alhamdulillah, thank you to the guardians for having trust in my family to take care of her. She will always have a special place in my heart. Ya ALLAH, please make her a good muslimah. Make her grow with iman and true to her name a solehah muslimah. Give her love where ever she goes and make her a patience person. And have a place for her in Jannah.

*Footnote:  To all, please make doa for her (Nur Soleha) as I did not write earlier, she also has a hole in the heart - known as ASD.  In Shaa Allah, she will be going for an operation later this year.  Hopefully, we will be able to raise the funds she needs and soon too. I will update all when the time is nearer. Jazakallah to all,  for taking time to read my blog and for giving a doa (a prayer for my girl), Only ALLAH can reward all of you. Aamiin.