It has been ages since i last wrote here. Alhamdulillah , life has been fantastic with all the ups and downs. There have been days when i just felt like giving it all up, and there have been days when i just want it to go on and on as was having too much fun. But that what makes life so wonderful.
Allah knows what is best for us. That is why he gave us the ups and downs so we will appreciate when we are up. And be thankful what we have when we are down instead of grumbling and mumbling etc etc (you know what i mean).
Anyhow I am but human. I can't help but some times complain and forget. That is why we were taught to "istighfar" always. So that the King of Syaitans will not come and whisper sweet nothings to our ears and makes us forget.
Allah hu Akbar, Allah is great. Syukur Alhamdulillah. No other words can describe the feelings.
No regrets in life as everything that happens, are by the will of Allah and has been predestined in Luth Mahfuz.
May Allah grant all of us the patience and give us the best in everything and makes us syukur in whatever circumstances we are in. Aamiin.
Al Asr (The Time) In the name of God Most Gracious, Most Merciful By (the Token of) Time (through the Ages), 2. Verily Man is in loss, 3. Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deed, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy. How true....We always take time for granted. Thinking we have all the time in the world. What we don't realize is time waits for no man. Yesterday passed by very very fast, without us realizing it. What happened yesterday is all but only a memory.........
Looking back, my marriage of 23 years has passed by. Not feeling the years that just flew off. Age is catching up on us. Children grew up. Once he was only a little baby that needs all our attention. Now, we just watch them from far and they need you no more, except when they can't find their clothes or books (which they have misplaced....)And for all you know, soon, they will come home and says "Umi, I want to get married"...........
Waiting for tomorrow to come takes ages. We feel tomorrow is always far away. But when it comes, the next thing you know, it became yesterday.......only a memory. If you don't use your time wisely, it will just be gone. And all that's left is just a memory. Therefore we should always remember that time waits for no one. Use them wisely. Keep memories i.e. take photos, cherish the little moments that you get to be with love ones and take no one for granted. Always shower them with love, affection and attention. Don't quarrel with people, don't be too sensitive to people. Try and understand people's problems before judging them. And always remember, why or the main reason you are brought into this world: " Surah Adh-dhariyat :Ayat 56..........., I have only created Jinns and men, that they may serve Me."
Subhanallah.......we never value our selves until ALLAH test you with sickness. I was down for 3 days with a very bad sore throat, an aching body and a throbbing headache that would not go away, even after taking the medicine. The pain of the throbbing headache ..............that no words could describe.
We always think that it is us, me and I, that decides or make us what we are. But when you are sick, only then you realise that there is a greater hand that actually decides who, what or how you are going to feel.
My hubby always tells me, that a person will only remember ALLAH especially so when they are sick.
Yeap, when you are hurt, in pain, your mouth can't seem to stop uttering ALLAH, ALLAH, ALLAH. I actually thought that may be....it was time...Astagfirullahalazim.....
I remembered when i was diagnosed as having hole in the heart - ASD (arterial septicall defect), i was so scared. Thoughts of dying kept haunting me. I was not ready to die yet, i'm still young!! Only old people die (that was what i thiought back then in 1984. Then as the years progress, i went to college, i was hungry to learn about Islam. I remember reading the "Muslimah", it was then sold by 'kakak Arqam - those wearing purdah then' in ITM. ( Back then it was ITM not UITM). That was a really good magazine then on being a good muslimah, a good wife and daughter. I actually learned alot then. Back then there was not many 'pengajian' like now. I was never been invited to the kakak-kakak's usrah ( ha...ha....ha.....maybe because i was very secular then ie free hair and all).
Then when i got married.......and after i was confirmed i was carrying my son, i made tahajjud every night, making duaa that Allah SWT will extend my life, at least to see till my son grow up and can be independent. Alhamdulillah......Allah SWT qabul my duaa. Now, asking Allah SWT again, subhanallah........we as human are soo weak, and forever asking from the Almighty......Ya ALLAH.........
Then you realize the greatness of Almighty ALLAH. When in pain....you will remember that it is ALLAH that gives you the pain, and only ALLAH can cure you." Wa iza maridtu, fahuwa yashfin.....surah A Syu'ara':80."
Now, today syukur Alhamdulillah, am back to being me again. Busy with the normal daily routine as wonder woman........Alhamdulillah, ALLAH has given me back my health. "Syukurilah nikmat sehat sebelum sakit.". How very true of that saying.
The song if have inserted by Wali Band from Indonesia, fully says it all. (Actually i wanted to put in TOBAT by Wali Band, but it says the video space is too small - it's my princess favourite). When i was sick, she kept playing that i.e she searched by herself in You Tube via my iphone. Macam ada message aje...... She is such an angel, she just sits next to me.....well , that's another story for me to write, later. Enjoy the nasyid.
She was beautiful. She arrived just after Asar. Ya Allah.....just can't believe it, another beautiful girl. She is one year's old. Her eyes was big and round with long and curly eyelashes. She was so trusting. Although she has never met me before, but she came easily to me.
I just cannot comprehend, how some people can just leave their babies to other people. They are so innocent. Not knowing anything and ever so trusting. All it took for a man and a woman just a few minutes of lust to create such a beautiful child. Then when the baby comes into the world, just leave them behind or in some cases throw them over the balcony???!! without any feelings of guilt. And i just cannot understand how the grandparents (of the baby), just because of shame to society, could make their daughter leave the baby at the hospitals or orphanages. They should be ashamed to ALLAH. Take responsibility. Check yourselves first as to why your daughter resort to such behaviour. It is you, as parents that have made the mistakes, mistake with ALLAH.
Anyway, back to my girl, she was given the name Nur Solehah Maisarah. Such a beautiful name. I have always dreamed of having a baby girl with the name of Maisarah.
But at last, she is only on a short loan by ALLAH. Our family had the pleasure of taking care of her for only 23 days, while her guardian went to do umrah and prepare for the wedding of their son in Indonesia. But those 23 days was full of emotions and ups and downs. It was more difficult to take care of a grown baby, as she already had her emotions and had learned things while at the welfare home. She really tested my patience. To my shame, i actually lost my patience with her. Ooh, that was a big trial of my iman.
Everybody that meets her, just loves her. She is so loving. She will give her cheeky smile (especially to guys.......hmmm at 1 year old???) and ask to be carried. She even sleeps on Abi's chest. Even Atok and Nani loves her. Unbelievably my sister too, was upset when she heard she is going back to her guardian.
No words can describe my feelings when her guardian came to pick her up. I thought I would be happy to see her go,no more waking up in the middle of the night to make her milk, no more wailing screams....... but in actuality, i miss her very much. Her cries and laughter and how she followed me even to the toilet door.
Alhamdulillah, thank you to the guardians for having trust in my family to take care of her. She will always have a special place in my heart. Ya ALLAH, please make her a good muslimah. Make her grow with iman and true to her name a solehah muslimah. Give her love where ever she goes and make her a patience person. And have a place for her in Jannah.
*Footnote: To all, please make doa for her (Nur Soleha) as I did not write earlier, she also has a hole in the heart - known as ASD. In Shaa Allah, she will be going for an operation later this year. Hopefully, we will be able to raise the funds she needs and soon too. I will update all when the time is nearer. Jazakallah to all, for taking time to read my blog and for giving a doa (a prayer for my girl), Only ALLAH can reward all of you. Aamiin.
Today for the first time in my life we served our first catering customer. Never in my life i dreamed to be doing catering business. Actually not only catering business but doing business itself. I remembered when i was much younger (not that i am that old now....ha...ha...ha) i hated business. I said to myself " I will never do business.....after seeing my father suffer lossing hundreds of thousands ringgit and almost becoming a bankruptcy. But now.......
To my surprised, I actually enjoyed it. Especially when the guests complimented on the food. It felt good. Although it was hard work and a couple of sleepless nights. I know, actually it was not me. Everything came from the Almighty...ALLAH. If ALLAH did not "redha" it to happenned, it will not happened. Alhamdulillah, no other words could describe it. Syukur Alhamdulillah, ya Allah.
I hope after today, this first experience will not be my last. And there will many more memorable experiences and catering opportunities to come in the future. Please make doa for me, that for once, i will get to make this business as a lasting career and will be successful.
I have not written anything in my blog for a couple of months now. So many things happened. With no maid and a wee girl in tow, makes it very difficult for me to have time even for myself. Alhamdulillah, today i get to write and do what i want. Hari Raya just passed, and my little girl is asleep. Today was her first day at the babysitter. The babysitter told me after i left, she cried a little then stood by the door and kept calling out for "umi, umi". Aargh! sacrifices we have to make...... and all my boys are back in maahad and finally, my youngest son, has also left home for full time tahfiz.
It was a very difficult decision for me, as we found out, his maahad, has this strict rule about parents visiting especially for the first 41 days. NO VISITATION or COMMUNICATION for 41 DAYS. He is my baby. With him leaving the nest, this means its the beginning of his quest for "Ilmu ALLAH". Now, each time he comes home, he is just like a visitor only.
I know, i have to let him go for the sake of our future. Not the future here, but in the next world. The eternal life.
I can only duaa that he will cope and like his new lifestyle. May Allah make it easy for him to be a hafiz.
